The Inbedilbe Hulk
by pickledpigeon
Summary: Edward Norton is having a bad day, only a back scratcher could make him happy.


Seeing your younger self was always disconcerting whether it was laughably embarassing, brought back old memories, or reminded you that you hadn't yet achieved old dreams. Edward Norton faced this dilemma on an almost day to day basis, once being a serious actor, he'd always planned to continue his career into further roles that explored the human psyche. However, as the green unit "smashed" onto his TV screen, he knew that his legacy came down to his role as The Hulk, in the eponymous film that was still somehow concidered to be cannon in the MCU.  
He was almost definite that it was this cinematic blunder that had ended his career and to remind him of the fact in his own home, made him turn green. It wasn't just his career that his alter ego had destroyed though. His wife Shauna had been a fan of his early films, favouring Fight Club and American History X over lighter, more comedic movies. When they met she adored him, truly believing that he had more to say than than the average Hollywood megastar. This belief disapeared as superhero hype hit America and she first saw The Incredible Hulk, no longer enamoured with her husband their relationship became strained and distant.  
Edward looked back at all this, head in hands, wondering what on Earth he could do to win back not only his womans respect but the respect of his once fans as well. The desire to change was hot under his skin. Blistering, almost.  
Turning the TV off, he rose from the couch still contemplating what he could do to adapt and walked through to his bedroom. He'd seen in films that a makeover was often what a protagonist needed in order to turn their fate around. He started removing his clothes with the plan in mind that he'd put on a suit and surprise his wife with a nice dinner. Taking his shirt off he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. God he'd let himself go. He moved onto his pants, then removed his boxers to reveal the tiny weener beneath. Giving it a twirl, he grimaced, maybe his wife would love him if it were bigger, maybe his fans would pick up on his increased confidence and gravitate back towards him. It was confidence that made a male attractive, right?  
Once again the sensation was growing, flowing through his penis was an intense need to be better. Itching, burning, it built up beneath the skin. This needed to be dealt with.  
Quickly glancing around his room in discomfort he noticed the paw shaped back scratcher his friend had purchased him beside his bed. Grabbing it desperatley, he then slumped back against his matress and began to press it against his fiery member. Gently at first, he slowly rubbed the paw up and down. It felt amazing, the sensation decreasing a little. Biting his lip, he knew what he had to do and began to move the paw faster. Norton's penis awoke for the first time in months, raising it's sleepy head from his sweaty ballsack and said hello to fresh air.  
"Mmmm" Edward grunted, the paw firmly stroking his entire length. "This is what I needed."  
Gasping once more, he was begging to reach top pace, quickly circulating it over his tip and then switching to vertical motions towards the bottom of his shaft. He needed more.  
Searching for a second scratcher, he grabbed his wife's and cupped his balls with it, they were crusty but he could still feel the cold steal and it made him quiver.  
The burning was beginning to spread from his penis towards his thighs but he had further work to do if he wanted to reach total satisfaction. Raising the first back scratcher to his mouth he spat on it, barely noticing the flecks of skin he presumed to be smegma that resided on it. Returning it to his shaft, he moistened his dick and then rubbed both paws along the shaft until he could take no more. Gasping, moaning, shivering, he continued, his mind blank and animalistic. This was everything.  
With that sentiment, a hot burst of spooge exploded over his peen but that didn't stop him. The aftershock felt too good.  
The liquid lotion continued to flow and travelled through his spasms along his legs and stomach; it was around this time that he began to gain consiousness from his rabid libido and felt the cool sensation the cum had brought. The burning feeling no longer troubled his penis or thighs and he knew why. Once more he firmly grasped his scratchers and rubbed the lotion over his entire body, deeply thrusting it into his pores, makeing sure his skin absorbed every drop.  
It was only when he returned to the head of his still raging erection that he realised his "head" was now 5 inches up.  
Confused, Norton raised himself from his bed, dizzily making his way over to the mirror. Still light headed from the act, he thought he was hallucinating but it had in fact grown to an enormous state. Strong. Bold. Reaching for the sky. The pleasure brought about from the sight of his penis only made it grow larger until it reached what he realised were abs. Taking his eyes away from the beaver basher, he recieved a rather large shock.  
Before him stood a silver fox with laughing eyes and the kind of pursed lips that had kissed a million models. Before him stood Mark Ruffalo.  
Running his hair through his now magnificently curley locks, he turned around to see the chunks of skin he'd ignored before, now a massive heep on his bed. That which was his skin, was no longer. He'd gone beneath the surface, looked deeper inside himself and found a true hero. The man he aspired to be.

Later that evening, Shauna returned home to a suited alpha who had paid a chef to prepare the finest meal money could buy (because only cucks cook) and together they enjoyed delacacies that only a working actor could afford. That night she rediscovered her love for him but by morning, Mark was gone because he was only there to smash.

The end. 


End file.
